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Like a Fine Artisan Cheese

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” -Sophia Loren

I put on a dress tonight. I covered it up with a long black coat. I put on mascara before covering my eyes with glasses. I ran a comb through my hair, that I decided not to wash today, before releasing an angst filled sigh to my reflection and dashing out of my home.

I had a 6pm dinner planned with a soul sister tonight. It was important for me to be with her as it was an anniversary of the loss of someone very dear to her. I got to the restaurant with a minute to spare, but she texted me that she had just left her home and was running behind. The hostess informed me that there was a long wait… unless I wanted to dine on their heated patio, and I hurriedly agreed. The rain had just started but the patio was covered and the soft chill breeze would occasionally send subtle shivers down my spine. My friend arrived and I rose up to greet her. A group of three young gentleman seated at the table to my left, tried to steal glances, which was a boost to my ego. We cozied in on opposite sides of the booth and had just acquainted ourselves with the menu when another group of women, probably about twenty years our senior, took a booth next to ours. They were radiant. The way they held themselves and laughed, without regard to anyone else, you could tell their bonds ran deep; they were strong, fierce friends. My eyes kept darting between my friend and the group of friends behind her, and the more glances I stole, the more parallels I was able to draw. It was like looking through a time machine and feeling at peace because everything in your future turned out beautifully.

I may not have movie star looks, runway model weight, bikini competitor figure. Time is taking my eyesight. Time is creasing lines deeper into my skin, and time has scarred my bod. Time has given me experience, stories, character, education, wisdom, family, and friendship. So here I am, not sharing my physical progress or recipe, but something much more meaningful. I stand here before you, getting old, accepting it, loving it, gracefully kicking ass while doing it.

I hope you are too.

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An Officer & A Gentleman

This mountain girl can clean up nice, but I always feel under dressed next to Chesty over here. It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing, when my husband is in his blues, I will forever feel as though he is my arm candy. I Love it!

My babe always thanks me for being his date, he’s impossibly charming. This year, he managed to top all our other prior years. This year, he made a special iTunes playlist to listen to on the way there. I didn’t even catch on until about four songs in. It’s unusual for my hubby to know all the lyrics to the songs, let alone all the songs that happen to be playing. It was a good mix of songs and they were all romantic, so I had to ask him what station he was playing. He told me that it wasn’t a station, rather, a playlist and that I should look at the name of it. Curiously, I sought out the name; 🎶“Songs that make me think about Heather”.🎶

I married a romantic

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We’re Gonna Party Like It’s Your Birthday

… Because it is.

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Siggy became a year closer to forty this past week, and I decided to surprise him with a little something he’s been talking about doing for a couple months.

So, What in the world did my honey want? A night out? A special dance from his lady love? New tools? Nope. I’ll give you a clue:

Yeah. That’s right. My dude wanted to go on a dinner cruise. However, I was able to convince him that we should buy him some nice new shoes as well.   IMG_4458Scan-EditIMG_4465IMG_4882
We enjoyed a vibrant sunset, ate a decent meal, danced, and drank champagne. Pretty low key and thoroughly enjoyable.
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Happy Birthday Siggy!
I love you to the moon.

 

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Making Good (Enough) Memories

I am a 30-something female who wears many hats. I am a business owner, a wife, a friend, and perhaps my most important role… a mother. There are many tasks associated with each of those roles, it can start to feel a bit overwhelming. We want to be better than our parents; we want to give our kids more than we were given. There’s an instinct in every parent to try to give our kids everything but there isn’t a day that goes by that I think I made perfect choices, not a day that passes that I didn’t have to compromise my time somewhere or get everything done on my never ending list of priorities. I swear, I’m f*cking up my kids in some way or another. I swear, my best just isn’t good enough.

JJS_9017A few months ago I noticed that I had been working a lot more, which included the hours after they got home from school. I was becoming increasingly irritated at their constant interruptions when I had already given them tasks to do so I could focus. I was being a grumpy mom, with barely any time. We still had our once a week, one on one times, our evening dinners together, our moments before bedtime, yet when I asked what they wished for, they each said, “More time with you.” A pang of guilt shot through me. How could I possibly give them more time when I didn’t have enough already? I was already staying up late to finish tasks, but I was determined to find a way to make it happen. I mean, what kind of mother would I be if I didn’t try, right?

I immediately started searching Pinterest to find activities to do with my kids. So many great ideas on there, but as I was sorting through these photos of spotless pastel clad children/Gap models in bright, spotless homes, I began to realize that I was overthinking it. Those photos are beautiful, but that’s not me, that’s not my family, that’s not my home.
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My carpet has darker “traction” spots near the door where I stop my family to hug them when they get home. My table is a little uneven, my husband crafted it by himself in one evening to give our family of 9 more room when we sit down to eat our meals together. Also, my table is not clean. It’s usually covered with the paperwork they bring home from school every day for me to read through and it’s stained with paint from our art projects that dried before I got a chance to clean them up. My mirrors are usually smeared with foggy streaks from my kids learning how to do chores. They still suck at them, but I praise their efforts because they are still young and learning. I don’t dust everyday and it gathers quickly because I leave my windows open to let fresh air in and keep my eyes on the kids while they play outside. If you ask me for a bandaid, I’m usually out. My kids use them like stickers, covering every minor scrape and bruise they get being the adventurers I’ve brought them up to be.


I recently familiarized myself with the works of the British psychoanalyst and pediatrician Donald Winnicott. Winnicott first coined the term, “good enough mother.” Later, Bruno Bettelheim’s would use Winnicott’s work in his book, A Good Enough Parent, where he would list the characteristics of a good enough parent as the following:

• Good enough parents do not strive to be perfect parents and do not expect perfection from their children.

• Good enough parents respect their children and try to understand them for who they are.

• Good enough parents are more concerned for the child’s experience of childhood than with the child’s future as an adult.

• Good enough parents provide the help that their children need and want, but not more than they need or want.

• The primary tools of good enough parenting are conscious reflection, maturity, and empathy.

• Good enough parents are confident that their good enough parenting is good enough.

I can’t say I don’t try to help the kids plan for their futures, and I can’t say I am confident about my parenting, but most studies indicate those feelings are typical among mothers, especially working mothers. I just have to learn to keep those feeling in check.

My kids want more time with me. It doesn’t mean they aren’t getting enough and it doesn’t mean I am neglectful. My kids get plenty of quality time, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try to work in a little extra when I can. Building relationships is more about seizing quality moments of connection with the time you have than it is about the quantity of the time itself.

Breathe mom. You’re doing just fine.JJS_9067JJS_9079
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Finances, Uncategorized

Going Broke Fixing My Car (A/C is out)

If there is one thing that I have learned about fixing car’s is that it can be expensive if you are not mechanically inclined.  I have learned to be self sufficient in many areas because the cost to pay someone else to fix my problems is pricey.  img_3452

The A/C in our 2004 Chevy Tahoe has been on the fritz for about a year ago and I just now had the time to fix it.  I will say that it did work only at high speed only.  Needless to say it gets cold fast and the option of on or off was not fun.

I called a mechanic to get a general sense of the cost to repair my A/C blower and right off the bat he said it’s $100.00 for a diagnostics then more money for the parts and labor.  “Holy hell that’s a lot of money” is what I thought to myself.  I hate the fact that I would have to pay that much for something that I am well equipped to do.

img_3453I ended up doing the work myself for a whopping $26.99 and 1 hour of my time.  In this day in age if you think you are unable to do something on your own, you are living life wrong and you will have to pay as a result.  Granted you are saving yourself some time when you have someone else do the work and that time cost money.

Time is money and in this case, my time saved me several hundred dollars.