Emotions, Humor, Raising Kids

When Your Child Tells You To Deal With It!

Update 0700:  The nuclear option was just initiated. 


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I must say, I am impressed with my sons act of defiance of not doing his chore.  I am also impressed with his ability to write such a loving note to me about why the dishes weren’t done. 

Yesterday evening, I had reminded him about the dishes that were still left out from the other night and that he has to take care of them and the response “got it schmot it.”  I take that as an understanding of his task that needs to be done. His dad came to visit for the girls open house and within minutes he was distracted. He was playing outside with his dad and I left it alone.  

By the time he came in, we had to leave for the open house.  I noticed the dishes did not get done and thought, not a super big deal since he can do it when he gets home. When we did get home around 8:45 PM, He chose to go to sleep instead of his chore.  

I again noticed that the dishes weren’t done and I went to his room and reminded him of his chore.  

Me: hey kiddo…Kiddo, you forgot to do the dishes.  You need to get up and take care of it. 

Kiddo:  (dead stare)…..(silence)…..(dead stare)

Me:  kiddo you didn’t do the dishes.  Get up and take care of it.

Kiddo:  (shuffles around) ok….(disbelief look in his face). 

He gets up out of bed and heads to the kitchen and what I hear is the sound of dishes clanking and I think he is doing dishes. 

Fast forward to 3:30 AM.  I’m preparing to leave for work and I stroll into the kitchen to see both sides of the sink packed full of dishes and a note that says “DEAL WITH IT!”


AHHHHHH MERRR GAAAWD! 


Internal thoughts:  

Option 1: I am going storm into his room and cause a 6.0 earthquake on his bed so he is wide awake then proceed to reprimand him (with colorful language) for this defiant behavior.  NOW YOU WILL DEAL WITH IT.

Option 2:  Take all electronics out of his room including light bulbs and tell him to DEAL WITH IT.

Option 3:  Take everything out of his room except for a chair and leave that in his room and tell him to DEAL WITH IT.

Option 4: a combination of all options and continue to use his own words on him.

Option 5: take the shower knobs off and he can DEAL WITH IT.

Needless to say I chose none of those options ……yet (evil grin).  Instead I chose to goosefrabah the shit out of my emotional state and let mom do her motherly (hopefully ass woopin) duty of love and tenderness.

I will say that I am okay with my kids defending themselves and their beliefs so it becomes a struggle when they disobey me in MY house.  All I think about is action leads to a consequence which draws me back to my limitless options. 

I am interested in hearing from other parents and their struggles they have with their children.  I wanna hear what you do in those moments. 

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You Get Paid For Your Effort

Heather and I decided that our kids can earn money just like any job.  We have different Jobs around the house with varying amounts they can earn.  They all know that the weekends are when they can work hard to get paid.

  • Give the Dog a bath $5.00 (Weekly)
  • Wipe down the cabinets $5.00 (Weekly)
  • Bathroom 1 $10.00 (Weekly)
  • Bathroom 2 $10.00 (Weekly)
  • Sweep the stairs $5.00 (Monthly)
  • Scrub the floor $25.00 (Monthly)

My oldest daughter is usually the first to ask about jobs that can be done so she can save up to buy her barbie toy.  She starts off asking “Daddy…..How much can I get for washing Penny?”  “Daddy, can you tell the boys not to take all the jobs?”  I tell her that’s not how it works in the real world and if she wants to get paid, you have to work hard.  Otherwise someone else will do that job.  “But DAAAAD! I’m not going to be here Saturday.”  “Love, that is your choice not mine.  You want to have a sleepover and that means you won’t be back to do any of the jobs.”img_2684
She was a bit frustrated and that’s ok because at the end of the day she is learning to make choices.  She had a blast at her friends house and made an awesome bunny basket for Easter so I don’t the she was too upset about the whole ordeal

We’ve also looked at their education as an opportunity to earn money.  We consider it their primary job and they get paid for their effort as well.  Having seven kids makes for

Grade Paymentsa minor financial hardship so we decided to impliment this program during middle school (7th Grade for California).  The kids like the idea since it’s an opportunity to earn even more money.  The problem that we face right now is that we have two 7th graders and next year we will have three in middle school.  They have an opportunity to earn $400.00 each school year so with two thats $800.00 and next year it will be $1200.00

 

 

 

We also have implemented an incentive to read by giving them the opportunity to write a one page book report on a book they have read.  The criteria are pretty simple; One Page, Times New Roman, Double Spaced.  It must have the book name, the author, what it’s about and what it means to them.  We grade it and they get paid $5.00 for each report.

Education is the priority and the harder they work the more they can earn.   Not only do they get paid they are learning along the way which is a win-win.  What I find most rewarding is after nearly five years of repetition about saving, they get it.  After I dish out money for the jobs they did, book report, or the money they earn from grades, I end by asking “How much do you want to put in savings?” and they are always wanting to put at least 40% away.

What do you do to incentivize your kids to focus on education?  We would love to hear your tips